So I arrive at work today, just kind of lounging around outside, soaking up the 9:00am air (because that’s super early for me to be at work, so I was basking in my earliness, read: greatness). What do I see? A Chinese (Asian, whatever) kid jogging!

This kid must have been about 11! JOGGING! But it doesn’t end there. About 20 seconds later, another kid jogs by, probably his little brother - must have been about 9. Now you’re thinking “Nine years old and jogging… wow”. But my friends, I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself - yet another brother runs by, who had I been a pedophile, would have made me cream… max age - 7!

I mean, I’m guessing at ages here, you never can tell with the Chinese, they could have been 40 for all I know. (I kid the Chinese! Jeez. I can make racial jokes because I have Chinese friends… that’s how it goes right?). But still, why is a 7 year old kid jogging?

I’m all for fitness, don’t mistake me for a lazy 26 year old slob. I get to the gym regularly and I play weekly sports. But I’m going to go against everything I believe in and say - do these kids not have some video games they should be mastering? I’m sure that cunt Zelda has got herself into some unescapable trouble again.

I know fitness is important, but cammon, they’re practically in diapers. Is this what our society has become? Obsessed with fitness? Is that even healthy?

Perhaps these kids just got out of a Kumon meetup and needed to stretch it out? Whatever, I’m just saying.