… this is my life.

I mean, I know 99% of the people who read this blog (I use that term loosely) are people I know anyways since I in no way, shape or form advertise this shiz around the web. You’ll definitely appreciate that this is me/us.

(Also, i have a sexy man crush on Zack Galifianakis)

For all the Hollywood Ho’s out there, you’re probably bathing in a pool of your own self righteousness right about now. The man who inspired a nation of people with moving roles in films like Lords of Dogtown and 10 Things I Hate About You. The man who proved that even in death, you can move mountain (uh… Broke… Back… nevermind). The man who will surely ecliped the legend of Jesus and his water to wine trickery, and live in lore for eternity. I’m talking about Heath Ledger ladies and gents… he won!

Now besides the fact that I think he did a fantastic job as the Joker, we all know he wouldn’t have even been nominated had he not died. Comic book movies never get recognition in legit categories and everyone knows that, it’s an unwritten rule. Ledger is probably rolling in his grave right now knowing that he’s been used as a marketing prop for not only the Oscars, but DVD sales for every movie he’s ever been in (like how they moved him to the cover of “I’m Not There” immediately after he died, when he was probably the 10th most important actor in that film).

Most upsetting to me was that they didn’t bring him out to accept the award! I’ve seen Weekend At Bernies, I know what’s possible with a little creativity and some CGI. Get that man on the stage and let’s do it right, ya know? Why am I the only one with any good ideas? Either way, he couldn’t have looked more dead than Sophia Lauren introducing Meryl Streep, am I right? (See photo top left, you could easily imagine that being her and not him, right?)

But more important than inspiring a whole new generation of drug addicts, this win finally answers the age old question - Who is the more successful ho’ from Dawson’s Creek? Looking at this from the all important Dawson’s Creek angle, we can finally prove who the more important whore was between Jen and Joey. Although both their husbands are dead (everyone knows Tom Cruise died after Top Gun), Heath Ledger now has an Oscar, Tom Cruise has a couple of Golden Globes, which we all know is just a pity award (like your “Participation” ribbon from track and field, fat ass). I predict TomKat has already fallen into self-destruction mode upon hearing this news and it will surely only be a matter of time before Xenu Cruise blasts off back to whatever planet he came from.

Ledger officially proves that to be adored by millions in North America, all you need to be is - young, good looking, addicted to drugs and DEAD. Way to send a message role model!

I’m not usually one to pass along videos and email forwards, but I got this link today from a friend and was sad and disappointed enough to want to share it.  Since I’m gearing up for my trip to Jamaica this weekend, I likely won’t be around to post anything for a while.  But more importantly, I won’t be around for the inauguration of America’s new punching bag, Barack Obama.

It’s no surprise I’m a big fan of Dubbya. I don’t care for his foreign policy, and frankly, I don’t care much for anything America does as a whole. But the hours and entertainment this man has brought us over the years, deserves some recognition.

People always make a point of saying how stupid he is, etc, etc. But in all honesty, I’ve always thought he was brilliant. It’s like he has jokes running through his head at all times, and just laughs to himself at how stupid and unoriginal everyone else is. By far he’s the funniest, most entertaining president American has ever elected. I like to think he was misunderstood.

Goodbye George W. Bush! We hardly knew you.

January 6th, 2009… the day the indie music scene stood still?  Well… not quite.

Animal Collective’s Merriweather Post Pavilion has been the most hyped album since 1985’s The Wrestling Album put out by the then WWF (now WWE, friggin Panda Bears be trippin!), which features such hits as Junk Yard Dog’s “Grab Them Cakes” (who was clearly ahead of his time since I think I saw a similarly titled song on Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III)

But, I digress… this album has already been hailed as 2009’s “Album of the Year”, after Pitchfork (whores!) gave them a glarring 9.6/10.  However, I wasn’t buying the hype just yet.  Immediately I chalked this up to Radiohead Syndrome (a term I coined thanks to Pitchfork’s trend of rating everything Radiohead does a 9.0-10.0, likely without even listening to the album - not that they’re not warranted).

So immediately, it should be noted this album is slightly poppier than 2007’s Strawberry Jam, which also received critical acclaim across the board (and right fully so, it was solid… but let’s not start fucking each others bums over it).  Given that, it still has the kind of original sound you come to expect from Animal Collective.

By far the best song on the track in my opinion is “My Girls“.  I think it’s the first single on the album, I’m just too lazy to check, but if it isn’t, it should have been.  I don’t even know what “adobe slabs” are, but I want them too! BAD!  The word have meaning, which is rare from Animal Collective who are usually spewing strings or words that can barely be considered English (barely even Engrish!).  ”Summertime Clothes” reminds me a lot of No Age’s “Things I Did When I Was Dead” from 2008’s Nouns (but in an okay way… like touching non-bathing-suit covered parts, you know?)

I’ll be the first to admit, I wanted to hate this album.  I wanted to listen to it and go “Pitchfork you SOB, way to ruin my year”, since you no doubt have to either hear hipsters bash it, or tweens praise it.  But in all honesty, this is a solid piece of work.

Grizzly Bear… your move.

Came across a list of the 100 Most Likely People To Die In 2009 on Cinema Blend today, thought I might share the wealth.

Most notable exception of course is that Shaneequa Bobble-Head (because that bitch’s head is always on a swivel, am I right?) Tyra Banks.  If it’s not possible to die from sheer ‘tude, I’m almost sure someone will be so fed up with her shit one of these days - enough so to spike her Slim Fast shakes with cyanide.  (… and I know just how to do it.  Uhh… I mean…)

P-Sway at numero six is a little pessimistic, I’d like to think he’ll be gone and out of everyone’s hair by mid-February at the latest. Here’s hoping.  Also, I’d be surprised if Gary Busey (#51) makes it through the night.

My most favouritest is definitely number 35!  The Iron Sheik has become my personal hero over the last year or so.  He’s made so many appearances all over YouTube, usually crying and/or raving about Chris Benoit’s murderous ass (Easter Egg: Notice CNN lists murdering your wife and 7-year old child as “Story Highlights”).  ”Sheiky-Baby” is the only man on earth who can go from screaming to crying to screaming faster than “celebs” are jumping on the Scientology bandwagon (Travolta killing his son, for the win!). Apparently Sheik has done a lot of Howard Stern appearances as of late, which has boosted his status. Too bad I don’t care because Howard Stern is so 1999 (seriously, when is THAT guy gonna die? I hear Syphilis is the new silent killer).

Least likely to come true? #85 in your program - Irving “Magic” Johnson. Everyone knows his insides were replaced with robot parts in the 90s. No one has AIDS for 32 years, sorry.  We’re on to you pal.

In the “Sorry To See You Go” department, we have Angela Landsbury at #49 of “Murder She Wrote” fame (define “fame”).  I know Dan will be most upset since that was definitely his favourite show growing up, next to “Dear John”.  At least she’ll be solving crimes up in heaven.

Finally, I love how Barack Obama at #10 is so much higher than John McCain at #88.  Eat that Matt Damon!

Enjoy.

I’m so friggin’ jacked for this movie! I feel like this could be the Baby Jesus to my Mary Immaculate, you know? No? Whatever, check out the behind the scenes video that was released yesterday.

Merry Christmas Turds and Turdettes.  Tis the time of year for giving, so I shall gift you the same thing I get everyone I don’t care to buy gifts for every year…

The greatest Christmas Video of all time.  Enjoy.

Okay, so yes, it’s 4am. But in all honesty, this is BIG news! (though it appears it’s week old news, but I’m not up to buff on my internet knows-it, clearly - could you tell?)

So, the news is that Flight Of The Conchords Season 2, Episode 1 is out online! Check out the clips before someone remove them, which is bound to happen.

Thanks to Meech for passing this shit along.   Season two premieres on HBO and HBO Canada on January 18, 2009.

In Part One, I covered the first ten albums (20 down to 11) of my 2008 musical year in review. I won’t dilly dally because we have a lot to cover here including other 2008 albums not on the list, the buddy list, and a list of albums to look out for in 2009. GO!

The Rest

Obviously when constructing a list of 20, you have to make certain sacrifices. 2008 was probably the best years in music since 2004 and there just has to be a bunch of albums looking from the outside in (alphabetically):

Black Kids - Partie Traumatic
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Born Ruffians - Red Yellow and Blue
The Dodos - Visiter
Eagles Of Death Metal - Heart On
Gang Gang Dance - Saint Dymphna
Gnarls Barkley - The Odd Couple
Ladytron - Velocifero
Late Of The Pier - Fantasy Black Channel
Los Campesinos! - We are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
Nick Cave & The Bad Seed - Dig Lazaris Dig
Santogold - Santogold

Note: MGMT’s “Oracular Spectacular” was NOT released in 2008, sorry guys! The NME can suck my salami, I don’t care when you got it or when the physical disk was out. MGMT released this album in October 2007 digitally (Columbia Records) on the interwebs, so it has no business as anyone’s #1 album this year! End of tale. (Bon Iver gets a pass because he self released his album in 07, then re-released it in 08 on a label.)

My most disappointing album of 2008 was by far Of Montreal’s “Skeletal Lamping”. How do you follow up last years ridiculously self righteous “Hissing Fauna: Are You The Destroyer?”… if you’re Of Montreal, you just don’t apparently!

Onto the Top 10…

D-Bone’s List

20. Neil Young - Sugar Mountain Live At Canterbury House 1968
19. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
18. Okkervil River - The Stand Ins
17. Bob Dylan - Bootleg Volume 8 - Tell Tale Signs
16. Jason Collett - Here’s to Being Here
15. Beck - Modern Guilt
14. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
13. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Dig Lazarus Dig
12. Conor Oberst - Conor Oberst
11. Wolf Parade - At Mount Zoomer
10. BB King - One Kind Favor
9. Portishead - Third
8. Atlas Sound - Let the Blind Lead Those Who Cannot See
7. David Byrne and Brian Eno - Everything That Happens Will Happen Today
6. Beach House - Devotion
5. TV on the Radio - Dear Science
4. The Walkmen - You & Me
3. M83 - Saturdays = Youth
2. Deerhunter - Microcastle/Weird Era
1. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes

Marq’s List

Marc decided to do a list of 25 because he has listening problems as well as a great fear of letting people down, even if those people happen to be inanimate objects like albums (namely albums 21-25).

25. Born Ruffians - Red Yellow and Blue
24. Let’s Wrestle - In Loving Memory Of…
23. M83 - Saturdays=Youth
22. Kelley Polar - I Need You To Hold On While The Sky Is Falling
21. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
20. Hot Chip - Made In The Dark
19. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
18. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
17. Okkervil River - The Stand Ins
16. The Bug - London Zoo
15. Air France - No Way Down Ep
14. No Age - Nouns
13. Beck - Modern Guilt
12. Jason Collett - Here’s To Being Here
11. Gang Gang Dance - Saint Dymphna
10. Flying Lotus - Los Angeles
9. Plants and Animals - Parc Avenue
8. Lindstrom - Where You Go I Go Too
7. Wolf Parade - At Mt. Zoomer
6. Portishead - Third
5. TV On The Radio - Dear Science
4. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
3. Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours
2. Deerhunter - Microcastles
1. The Walkmen - You and Me

Mr Rock & Roll’s List

Clearly too busy buying new guitars or selling his personal possessions for drug money to put a list together like the rest of us. Nice work hero, I hope you get syphilis in 2009.

Industry Lists

Here are a few other lists from semi-reputable sources:
Stereo Gum
Pitchfork’s Readers Poll
Rolling Stone
Spin
NME (Complete garbage, I hate you NME)

Upcoming In 2009

Lastly, here is a list of artists who are expected to be releasing albums you should be looking forward to in 2009: Soundtrack Of Our Lives, Animal Collective, Antony And The Johnsons, Franz Ferdinand, Von Bondies, Mos Def, Neko Case, The Decemberists, Depeche Mode, Ambulance LTD, Blur, Pete Doherty, Noel Gallagher, Gang Of Four, Junior Boys, Morrissey, New Pornographers, The Postal Service (probably not!), Stars, Stellastarr*, Wilco.

It’s that time of year again kiddies. No, not your annual VD test (but seriously, if you’re a ho, you should be going like once a month, k? I’m looking out for you). Album reviews!

So annually, we (my friends and I) like to come up with our lists before Pitchfork (the poser-hipsters mecha) does theirs. As usual, no one really puts together a list in time, if at all. But we always try to try, which is more than I can say for you the last time you attempted anything self-helpish like going to the gym, eating healthy, quitting smoking, or no wait… those are the things that I always fail at.

Anyhow, it’s a list of 20 albums that at some point or another in 2008 made their way onto my computer, iPod, or car… and into my heart. (Awww… it’s almost like I have “real people” emotions, right?) So I’ve split the list into two parts and I’ll throw in a few other notables from this year at the end of it all, sotta the “B-List” if you will (like the kids who got picked last for sports).

Enjoy!