2009: No One Comes Out Alive
Came across a list of the 100 Most Likely People To Die In 2009 on Cinema Blend today, thought I might share the wealth.
Most notable exception of course is that Shaneequa Bobble-Head (because that bitch’s head is always on a swivel, am I right?) Tyra Banks. If it’s not possible to die from sheer ‘tude, I’m almost sure someone will be so fed up with her shit one of these days - enough so to spike her Slim Fast shakes with cyanide. (… and I know just how to do it. Uhh… I mean…)
P-Sway at numero six is a little pessimistic, I’d like to think he’ll be gone and out of everyone’s hair by mid-February at the latest. Here’s hoping. Also, I’d be surprised if Gary Busey (#51) makes it through the night.
My most favouritest is definitely number 35! The Iron Sheik has become my personal hero over the last year or so. He’s made so many appearances all over YouTube, usually crying and/or raving about Chris Benoit’s murderous ass (Easter Egg: Notice CNN lists murdering your wife and 7-year old child as “Story Highlights”). ”Sheiky-Baby” is the only man on earth who can go from screaming to crying to screaming faster than “celebs” are jumping on the Scientology bandwagon (Travolta killing his son, for the win!). Apparently Sheik has done a lot of Howard Stern appearances as of late, which has boosted his status. Too bad I don’t care because Howard Stern is so 1999 (seriously, when is THAT guy gonna die? I hear Syphilis is the new silent killer).
Least likely to come true? #85 in your program - Irving “Magic” Johnson. Everyone knows his insides were replaced with robot parts in the 90s. No one has AIDS for 32 years, sorry. We’re on to you pal.
In the “Sorry To See You Go” department, we have Angela Landsbury at #49 of “Murder She Wrote” fame (define “fame”). I know Dan will be most upset since that was definitely his favourite show growing up, next to “Dear John”. At least she’ll be solving crimes up in heaven.
Finally, I love how Barack Obama at #10 is so much higher than John McCain at #88. Eat that Matt Damon!
Enjoy.
Artie Lange.
Dirty Work.
“The CIA put a chip in my brain”
Highly underrated.
Seriously, Angela was ahead of her time. An elderly female mystery writer that solved mysteries, murder mysteries! This was before all the CSI crap shows and A & E’s the First 48 - she always caught the bastard in under an hour without blacklights and such, and still had time to discuss the events over a cup of tea with an old friend.
and for the record I have never watched dear john that was a vicious rumour that started in elementary school and has followed me around for years
1) The First 48 is a damn good show.
2) Stop denying your love for Dear John, it’s borderline pathetic.
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