Okay, so apparently that lottery thing was bogus. Who knew, right? I sent several racy photos upon request, I was so sure I was gonna get the money after I painted “Mohammad, Roast My Turkey” on my chest and emailed the pics. But it just wasn’t to be.

So I’m back, with some two day old news. Just as lazy as ever!

It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me that I’m a big Elisha Cuthbert fan. In fact, I can’t think of one thing I wouldn’t let her do to me. Read into that what you like. I’m just saying, I’m sure her urine smells like rose pedals. (Golden Showers, is that crossing the line? Ah, probably)

Anyways, her ex boyfriend and my hero, Sean Avery (the National Hockey Leagues “badboy”) made a comment a few days ago to the media about NHL players being into his “sloppy seconds”, referring to Calgary Flames Dion Phaneuf, who’s now porking Cuthbert much to my shagrin. (Side question: Has anyone realized the double entendre that is the “Calgary Flames”? Cammon).

Regardless, this man has nailed Elisha Cuthbert and then one of the Olson twins, quite possibly in the same week. Give this man a medal! With all the recent trouble in the Canadian Parliament, has it occurred to anyone that Avery might be a good candidate to lead this country through our current economic hardship?

CBC Radio: Prime Minister Avery, the opposition party has stated that your budget this fiscal term is way out of whack, how do you respond to such alligation?

PM Avery: I had sex with Elisha Cutbert… in the ass. Next question.

CTV News: So Mr Avery, are you saying that Stefan Dion’s claim has no merrit.

PM Avery: Again, I’d just like to take you back to the fact that I also nailed an Olson twin in the pooper as well. You can tell that French-Canadian, walking speech impediment, to get the poutine out of his ears - BUTT-SEX, how many ways can I say it?

So the long and short of it is, the NHL got their jock-straps in a tizzy over said comments. But in all honesty, is this not what this joke of a professional sports league needs? A bit of controversy? The guy continues his antics, season after season and the league just keeps suspending him. WHY?

If I was them, I’d put his face on the league crest frankly! Or no wait, I’d put his face and then my face, and then Elisha Cuthbert’s naked body and make it like a two headed sexy-cynical-racist-hydra! (He’s the racist, not me!)

Video of the recent comments:

A compilation video that does him NO justice at all: