Merry Christmas Turds and Turdettes. Tis the time of year for giving, so I shall gift you the same thing I get everyone I don’t care to buy gifts for every year…
The greatest Christmas Video of all time. Enjoy.
Okay, so yes, it’s 4am. But in all honesty, this is BIG news! (though it appears it’s week old news, but I’m not up to buff on my internet knows-it, clearly - could you tell?)
So, the news is that Flight Of The Conchords Season 2, Episode 1 is out online! Check out the clips before someone remove them, which is bound to happen.
Thanks to Meech for passing this shit along. Season two premieres on HBO and HBO Canada on January 18, 2009.
In Part One, I covered the first ten albums (20 down to 11) of my 2008 musical year in review. I won’t dilly dally because we have a lot to cover here including other 2008 albums not on the list, the buddy list, and a list of albums to look out for in 2009. GO!
Obviously when constructing a list of 20, you have to make certain sacrifices. 2008 was probably the best years in music since 2004 and there just has to be a bunch of albums looking from the outside in (alphabetically):
Black Kids - Partie Traumatic
Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Born Ruffians - Red Yellow and Blue
The Dodos - Visiter
Eagles Of Death Metal - Heart On
Gang Gang Dance - Saint Dymphna
Gnarls Barkley - The Odd Couple
Ladytron - Velocifero
Late Of The Pier - Fantasy Black Channel
Los Campesinos! - We are Beautiful, We Are Doomed
Nick Cave & The Bad Seed - Dig Lazaris Dig
Santogold - Santogold
Note: MGMT’s “Oracular Spectacular” was NOT released in 2008, sorry guys! The NME can suck my salami, I don’t care when you got it or when the physical disk was out. MGMT released this album in October 2007 digitally (Columbia Records) on the interwebs, so it has no business as anyone’s #1 album this year! End of tale. (Bon Iver gets a pass because he self released his album in 07, then re-released it in 08 on a label.)
My most disappointing album of 2008 was by far Of Montreal’s “Skeletal Lamping”. How do you follow up last years ridiculously self righteous “Hissing Fauna: Are You The Destroyer?”… if you’re Of Montreal, you just don’t apparently!
Onto the Top 10…
I feel like I’m watching Degrassi Junior High when I listen to this album. If you watch their music videos, you can certainly see why I guess. But it has this fun, sorta mellow vibe that takes me back to the 80s when I was just a young pup, still wet behind the ears. I used to watch really lame TV shows and thought that that’s what life was going to be like. I was sadly mistaken. However, albums like this elicit those kinds of innocent memories of when things were much easier, and you could blame everything on your little sister.
I like hippies. No wait, I don’t. I like this album though.
Encompassing the intricate complexities of a 7-Layer Burrito and a side of Fries Supreme with the simple pleasures of a regular 99-cent Hard Shell Taco. The album invokes emotion, that’s what I’m getting at here. Not unlike it’s Taco Bell brethren. These guys are from Texas right?
Elephant in the room? Okay, so he’s a Scientologist (and mentally deranged)! This guy only puts out great records though. He probably takes a lot of heat because he hasn’t released another Odalay, but in all fairness, how could you, right? The lead off single “Gamma Ray” was solid, frankly, the entire album is just ace. One of the more critically underrated albums of 2008 in my estimation. This shit is 100% certified, Thetans-free music! Tom Cruise (aka Xenu) is pleased.
A little controversy never hurt anyone. I think people really appreciated these guys more after the whole Turd Ferguson/Obama mini-scandal where CBS tried to ban them from performing because Randy Randall refused to take off his Obama shirt. No Age did the set with the shirt inside out, scrawling “free healthcare” on it instead, finished the song, and walked off. The album is just straight up, drum heavy, rock.
Did you think I was gonna do an ebonics-laden review because these guys are black? Okay, well you know me too well then, because I was tempted. But if you ask me, this is where hip hop should be headed. Sorry Lil Wayne, I realize your album was a big deal this year, maybe I just didn’t get it, but this is where hip hop needs to be going… coincidentally it’s taking it back to the old school - crazy beats and crazier rhymes. I don’t care if they never put out an LP (fuck an LP!), this record is brilliant.
Don’t hate on Tunde Adebimpe because he’s acting in crappy Ann Hathaway flicks. Didn’t think they’d be able to top Return to Cookie mountain, and actually, they didn’t really (in my opinion anyways, many might disagree), but this album is on par and one of the best albums of the year by a long shot.
The most important thing about this album is that they spelt “Colours” right! Album is sold, start to finish. Caught them live earlier in the year and though I went in not expecting too much, I was blown away (Although, their opener “The Presets” were as good or better). I also literally almost bumped into Kevin Drew at that show (Kevin, keep your head up when you’re walkin punk!) and he also seemed to be really enjoying the set. Certainly the best electronic album of the year, hands down.
I was so sure this album would be my number one this year. I fell in love the first time I heard it and still haven’t got it outta my head. Much like a good high, or warm urine down your pant leg, it just lingers. If it’s not too “Will and Grace” of me, I would call this album Romantic. I know, right? It just has this eerie sexy sound. Hamilton Leithauser’s voice is like no other and Matt Barrick is an animal on the drums. Definitely worthy of a #1 spot on anyone’s list. Maybe next time Walkies.
Black Mountain does it again, another beast of an album. This album came out in early 2008, I listened to it a ton, loved it, put it down. I saw BM (Not feces, silly) at Lee’s Palace in Toronto, a venue I’m not overly fond of anymore, and they were good, but not great. Perhaps my perception of the show, an early album release or just plain ignorance left me forgetting how amazing this album was. Three weeks ago I picked it up again and was blown away, even more so than the first 20 times I listened to it this year. If Led Zeppelin was re-born into modern day (and I’m mean REAL Led Zeppelin, in their prime), I think this is the kind of albums they’d be making. Drum heavy, whaling-guitar-riffs, EPIC rock and roll. FUCKEN’ EPIC.
20. Neil Young - Sugar Mountain Live At Canterbury House 1968
19. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
18. Okkervil River - The Stand Ins
17. Bob Dylan - Bootleg Volume 8 - Tell Tale Signs
16. Jason Collett - Here’s to Being Here
15. Beck - Modern Guilt
14. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
13. Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Dig Lazarus Dig
12. Conor Oberst - Conor Oberst
11. Wolf Parade - At Mount Zoomer
10. BB King - One Kind Favor
9. Portishead - Third
8. Atlas Sound - Let the Blind Lead Those Who Cannot See
7. David Byrne and Brian Eno - Everything That Happens Will Happen Today
6. Beach House - Devotion
5. TV on the Radio - Dear Science
4. The Walkmen - You & Me
3. M83 - Saturdays = Youth
2. Deerhunter - Microcastle/Weird Era
1. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
Marc decided to do a list of 25 because he has listening problems as well as a great fear of letting people down, even if those people happen to be inanimate objects like albums (namely albums 21-25).
25. Born Ruffians - Red Yellow and Blue
24. Let’s Wrestle - In Loving Memory Of…
23. M83 - Saturdays=Youth
22. Kelley Polar - I Need You To Hold On While The Sky Is Falling
21. Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
20. Hot Chip - Made In The Dark
19. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
18. Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes
17. Okkervil River - The Stand Ins
16. The Bug - London Zoo
15. Air France - No Way Down Ep
14. No Age - Nouns
13. Beck - Modern Guilt
12. Jason Collett - Here’s To Being Here
11. Gang Gang Dance - Saint Dymphna
10. Flying Lotus - Los Angeles
9. Plants and Animals - Parc Avenue
8. Lindstrom - Where You Go I Go Too
7. Wolf Parade - At Mt. Zoomer
6. Portishead - Third
5. TV On The Radio - Dear Science
4. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
3. Cut Copy - In Ghost Colours
2. Deerhunter - Microcastles
1. The Walkmen - You and Me
Clearly too busy buying new guitars or selling his personal possessions for drug money to put a list together like the rest of us. Nice work hero, I hope you get syphilis in 2009.
Here are a few other lists from semi-reputable sources:
Stereo Gum
Pitchfork’s Readers Poll
Rolling Stone
Spin
NME (Complete garbage, I hate you NME)
Lastly, here is a list of artists who are expected to be releasing albums you should be looking forward to in 2009: Soundtrack Of Our Lives, Animal Collective, Antony And The Johnsons, Franz Ferdinand, Von Bondies, Mos Def, Neko Case, The Decemberists, Depeche Mode, Ambulance LTD, Blur, Pete Doherty, Noel Gallagher, Gang Of Four, Junior Boys, Morrissey, New Pornographers, The Postal Service (probably not!), Stars, Stellastarr*, Wilco.
It’s that time of year again kiddies. No, not your annual VD test (but seriously, if you’re a ho, you should be going like once a month, k? I’m looking out for you). Album reviews!
So annually, we (my friends and I) like to come up with our lists before Pitchfork (the poser-hipsters mecha) does theirs. As usual, no one really puts together a list in time, if at all. But we always try to try, which is more than I can say for you the last time you attempted anything self-helpish like going to the gym, eating healthy, quitting smoking, or no wait… those are the things that I always fail at.
Anyhow, it’s a list of 20 albums that at some point or another in 2008 made their way onto my computer, iPod, or car… and into my heart. (Awww… it’s almost like I have “real people” emotions, right?) So I’ve split the list into two parts and I’ll throw in a few other notables from this year at the end of it all, sotta the “B-List” if you will (like the kids who got picked last for sports).
Enjoy!
Cute album name. It’s like Catch and Release, but you see how they replaced Catch with Attack? So clever those hippies! I must admit, I only picked up this album recently and I’m almost sure it’s going to grow on me like a venereal disease (whao, second VD reference, don’t look now, I’m on a roll!), I’ll probably regret not sneaking it into my top 5. I suppose that’s what good albums do, they sneak up on you (similar to love, obesity and paternity tests)
Early release in 2008. It’s good. I just want to take this quick second to mention that I did not write these reviews in order. So this is actually one of the last ones I’m writing. Have you ever had to do a write-up for a top 20 list? It’s long… and boring!
Canadiana. I can’t look away, its like a car accident where the car is literally on fire and the driver is running around with their hair ablaze. So it isn’t “Tournament of Hearts”, but it still has it’s moments. The Constantines first album on “Arts & Crafts” is worthy of a spot, albeit a late one. Would you believe I’ve never seen them live? I know right? But I DO have a really cool CONS-TANT-INES 1-inch button from the show I missed, thanks to the M-Dawg. So I’m kinda respresentin’ (about as much as your mom at the “All About Sex” show).
Do you like loud noises? Do you like Canada? Do like puck rock and roll? That’s so “Fucked Up”, because so do I. Band has gotten some mad hype lately and deservedly for the most part. I just don’t understand this new thing where you have to put the word “Fuck” in your band name. I know “Fuck” is the new “God”, but even still, what are you like 8? The album fucking rocks.
“Hey you hear that new GT album?”
“Who?”
“Girl Talk…”
“Oh, fuck them, I hate those bitches”
“You mean ‘Him‘?”
“Ya…”
I don’t get the hype surrounding this album… nail me to a cross! I like it, but maybe I just haven’t given it the time it takes to absorb both disks properly. It should be noted, I’m not a man of patience, I’m a man of leisure and convenience. I was disappointed with their live show after hearing so much about their usual live antics, I’m trying not to let that have bearing on my list since I’ve seen a good portion of these bands live this year. Maybe I just hate skinny people, or maybe I just hate Marfan Syndrome, maybe I just hate ALL syndromes!!
K-Beckers rejoice! (Like as in Quebecois… if you have to explain your own “jokes”, then they’re not funny right?) Montreal exports another solid album. Although I still want to point out that Spencer Krugg (also of Sunset Rubdown, check ‘em out) sounds exactly like Isaac Brock, and oh wait, what’s that? He signed them to Sub Pop? Big surprise. In all honesty, this album is great and should have cracked my top 10, but I’m just too lazy to re-arrange the list at this point and all decisions are final, like when you get preggers (just kidding, that’s what abortions are for - so you can make those mistakes over and over again!). Vive le Quebec.
You really should stay positive! That’s excellent advice.
Trip hop isn’t dead, or so the Germans would have you believe. (Normy Mac anyone?) The story about me and this album goes like so…
Marc: Hey, the new Portishead is amazing.
Me: Meh, it’s alright. Maybe I need to get all ‘James Franco from Pineapple Express‘ to get it.
The craziest part is that Pineapple Express wasn’t even out at the time this album came out! But I’m a visionary. Needless to say, this album is now in my top 20.
I just want to start out by saying that I hate Vampire Weekend and everything they stand for. Now that that’s out of the way - is this not the catchiest pop album in a while? Groovy, afro pop guitar riffs, what’s not to like about this album? I despise “Frat Rock” (and I say that in the least affectionate way), but these songs put me in a decent mood, and that says a lot. If I had to liken this album to something biological, I would say this album is like watching Kittens give birth to kittens, and then watching those kittens immediately give birth to more kittens.
Okay, so apparently that lottery thing was bogus. Who knew, right? I sent several racy photos upon request, I was so sure I was gonna get the money after I painted “Mohammad, Roast My Turkey” on my chest and emailed the pics. But it just wasn’t to be.
So I’m back, with some two day old news. Just as lazy as ever!
It should be no surprise to anyone who knows me that I’m a big Elisha Cuthbert fan. In fact, I can’t think of one thing I wouldn’t let her do to me. Read into that what you like. I’m just saying, I’m sure her urine smells like rose pedals. (Golden Showers, is that crossing the line? Ah, probably)
Anyways, her ex boyfriend and my hero, Sean Avery (the National Hockey Leagues “badboy”) made a comment a few days ago to the media about NHL players being into his “sloppy seconds”, referring to Calgary Flames Dion Phaneuf, who’s now porking Cuthbert much to my shagrin. (Side question: Has anyone realized the double entendre that is the “Calgary Flames”? Cammon).
Regardless, this man has nailed Elisha Cuthbert and then one of the Olson twins, quite possibly in the same week. Give this man a medal! With all the recent trouble in the Canadian Parliament, has it occurred to anyone that Avery might be a good candidate to lead this country through our current economic hardship?
CBC Radio: Prime Minister Avery, the opposition party has stated that your budget this fiscal term is way out of whack, how do you respond to such alligation?
PM Avery: I had sex with Elisha Cutbert… in the ass. Next question.
CTV News: So Mr Avery, are you saying that Stefan Dion’s claim has no merrit.
PM Avery: Again, I’d just like to take you back to the fact that I also nailed an Olson twin in the pooper as well. You can tell that French-Canadian, walking speech impediment, to get the poutine out of his ears - BUTT-SEX, how many ways can I say it?
So the long and short of it is, the NHL got their jock-straps in a tizzy over said comments. But in all honesty, is this not what this joke of a professional sports league needs? A bit of controversy? The guy continues his antics, season after season and the league just keeps suspending him. WHY?
If I was them, I’d put his face on the league crest frankly! Or no wait, I’d put his face and then my face, and then Elisha Cuthbert’s naked body and make it like a two headed sexy-cynical-racist-hydra! (He’s the racist, not me!)
Video of the recent comments:
A compilation video that does him NO justice at all:
