“How could you do this to me?”
“We were meant to be together… Everyone knows you know it too.”
“Stop messing with my libido.”
“I cant haz butt secks?”

Those were just a few of the things I said today when I found out Sarah Silverman took back that dumpy loser Jimmy Kimmel.  (It should be noted I actually like Kimmel a lot, but I wouldn’t hesitate to throw a ninja star into his face if it meant I could have Sarah to myself)

Here are a few of the things I was planning to do to (and with, let’s be fair) Sarah if I was given the chance:

• Pooper sex
• Sing her a song about us making babies
• Proceed to make babies

(Not in that order)

The worst part is the asshole has the nerve to be photographed gripper her ass, as if to say “Hey Prom King, check out what you’re not going to be sticking your face into tonight!!”

I’m still keep faith that I’ll be Mr. Prom King-Silverman one day.  Who doesn’t want to marry the prom king? Yeah?