You played for the Knicks
Remember you had those shoes?
Them some big ass lips

Step 1: Purchase some Axe Body Spray
You can pick this stuff up at any Shoppers Drug Mart (or Condom Shack?) near you.

Step 2: Spray it on your body
SHAZAM! Instant hooker. (Also consider spraying it in your pants for a true and authentic ‘tute experience)

Does anyone else realize this stuff smell like complete crap? I’ll hand it to them for having a pretty powerful marketing campaign (albeit, it’s a gettin’ a little old now - women fall all over you, ya, ya, we get it), but when it comes to smelling like a gigolo, Axe has it in the can, so to speak. (Get it? Can? Anyone? Go hang yourself)

If you really want to kick it old school (is that what the kids are doing?), locate some Malezia from the 90s, because I’m fairly confident Axe is just Malezia in disguise. Heck, maybe even rummage through your dad’s sock drawer for some Brut! Hells yeah!

Even better is now the brilliant minds at Unilever, Axe’s parent company, decided that woman-repelant should come in a convenient banaka-sized bottle.  Perfect for conceiling in your pocket to spray on your body right when your sexual target is in sight.  Frankly, I think you’d have better luck with the ladies if you sprayed mace all over your body.  You’re pretty much saying the same thing - “I will sexually assult you, and I probably have r’d a bunch of chicks in the past“.

Conclusion, if you like to attract she-males and STDs, Axe is defintely up your allyway.  But if you’re like me and choose not-so-subtle threatening emails and straight-out stalking as your weapon of choice with the ladies, then perhaps pass this one by gentlemen.

What an awesome name.
You were the best switch hitter.
Whatever that means.

What’s up bitches and bichettes.  Been a long time, huh?

Just spreading some love through visual stimulation. How this video only has 787 views baffles my mind.  I call that poor marketing.

Perhaps I’ll post some other stuff I’ve been workin on sooner than later.  Yeah? You like that? Do you? HUH?