Shocking, I know!

So I work in a heavily Asian-populated city (starts with an “M”, ends in an “arkham”) and it seems every morning as I motor to work, I’m delayed by a row of cars rubber-necking an intersection crowded with city’s best drivers who ALWAYS seem to be Asian!

Let’s investigate the facts…

1. You live in a “heavily Asian-populated city”, clearly most accidents are going to be by Asian people!
X, WRONG! I’ve had many-a-jobs, none of which were in Markham, none of which yielded this kind of morning drive.  Sorry, but I drive a lot, and I never see as many accidents as I see in Markham.

2. You could be racist.
X, WRONG!  Actually, no… you’re probably right.

3. Insurance rates are higher in Markham
Coincidence? Me thinks not!  Now I’ve never actually confirmed this, but I heard it from a very reliable source (your mom! no… but still)

4. Slanty eyes
Ya, I said it! It’s not racist, it’s just factual. Though I’m not sure less eyeball exposure is related to crappy motoring skills, but this is the ONLY place I’d have the balls to point that out, so-mm-doin-et.

You would think Asians would be great at hand-eye coordination too! Karate anyone? Have you seen Enter the Dragon? Fucken fists of fury son!

Hold up, is “Asian” even the right term these days?  I know you’re not supposed to say “Oriental”, but I never know for sure. “Nip” is a big no-no too right?  Apparently I’m not up to speed on my PC-phrases.  Whatever, I’m just a “WOP”, what do i know? (Other than how to fix up Mustangs and IROCs and order bottle service at Ultra - Gray Goose only)